Life's Greatest Loss........My Grandmother

 
                                              My Grandmother, My Best-friend

      This week's assignment is to write about a great loss that we have experienced in our life.  When I think of a great loss the one that hits me the most is the day I lost my grandmother.  It was 6 o'clock in the morning when we received the phone call.  It wasn't totally unexpected she was 84 years old and we had watched her health fail over the past year.  I can't begin to describe how final it felt to hear the words on the other end of the phone.  It was my husband who spoke with the nurse at the nursing home, I can remember that call like it happened yesterday, when it actually happened almost 4 years ago.

     What can I say about Helen-Marie Williams.  She was such a warm and loving human being.  She had a contagious thirst for life.  She loved family and being the matriarch of our family was a role that suited her.  She loved to plan every holiday, birthday, or just a monthly family get together.  Since she has passed we don't do as much with our extended family as we once did.

     Ten years ago, in early May my husband called me to tell me that his grandparents were going to be moving in with us.  There were unseen circumstances that are to horrific to get into, but bottom line my household size would increase by two.  Little did I know that that one move would change my life so much, and definitely for the better!

     At first I felt like I couldn't be me in my own home.  With grandma and grandpa living with us I needed to make sure I always wore a bathrobe when leaving my bedroom. I also felt I needed to entertain everyday.  They stayed in my oldest daughter's bedroom until we could finish the basement into an apartment they would call their's.  Day after day different members of the family came over to help my husband build a place suitable for his grandparents.  It wasn't long that our basement became a beautiful apartment complete with a den for grandpa and a formal living room with a fireplace for grandma.

     I knew they were getting older and they needed us to step up for them as they had done so many times for so many others throughout their whole life.  It didn't matter to grandma how big or small the problem was she would help as best she could.  She was such a forgiving woman, never held a grudge.  If you did something wrong all she wanted from you was an "I'm sorry..."  I had no idea at
that time how much I needed them.  I spent much time with grandma through the years while she lived with us, time I treasure everyday.  She taught me how to be a better mother, granddaughter, and wife.  She encouraged me everyday to be the person she always knew I was.  She was there for my husband and children while I went to nursing school.  She made dinners, did laundry, and was that warm face my children came home to after school.  I spent my days off taking her to doctors appointments, grocery shopping, and shopping for new outfits.  Shopping was a great joy to her, and I was more than happy to take her.  After a morning of shopping we would get a bite to eat, we had a booth at Friendly's with our name on it.  She never forgot about the kids and would often say we'll get something to bring home for them.  She had a way about her, always thinking of others.  I can't really put all her greatness into words but to know Marie Williams changed my life.

     We would take her to church on Saturday afternoons with grandpa, they would meet with their friends and go out to dinner afterwards.  They had a community they left behind, a community they were very involved with.  Grandma was the president of the association in the 55 and over park.  She was the star of the follies a show that they would present yearly.  Grandpa was stage manager and set designer.  She sang solos and was not shy about being the center of attention, in fact she loved it. I enjoyed seeing her smile. She had so many people that respected her from her work to her home life. Even though she was an elderly woman in her 80's she was like a teenager when she would talk to her girlfriends for hours on the phone. I would just sit and watch her twirl the phone cord around her fingers.  She would laugh and the light would just beam in her eyes.

     Not only did she teach me about life, she too taught me about death.  She knew death was a part of life.  She planned every detail about her final resting place.  She bought her cemetery plot, her grave stone, and even planned her funeral.  When we were planning her funeral she had left letters to us telling us what songs she wanted played at her funeral, who the pal bearers would be, and where we should go to celebrate her life afterwards with family and friends.  The Chateau, an Italian restaurant, she even set the money aside for that.  I can hear say just put it on my master charge. This was the card that paid for everything, from groceries to our lunches we had made our thing, our time together.  Every month she would pay the bill in full, another lesson she taught us, if you can't afford to pay the entire bill when it arrives every month then don't buy it. A lesson we took seriously and because of her we don't have credit card debt today.  I'll never forget her or the day she moved in with us. I thank God everyday that circumstances sent her to us.