Celebration of Life

Celebrate Life, Everyday has been worth it!

Conley Funeral Home, Brockton, MA Web page

     I leave this last note for you to make it easier for you to plan my final party.  I wish to be cremated and I have picked out my urn.  I found this urn when we were making plans for Grandma's funeral.  I wish for music to be played, any music that reminds you of me will make me smile.  I don't want you to cry for I have lived a long and wonderful life.  Each of you has brought me joy through out the years.  I want to thank my children for being the person you are.  

     My life insurance policies can be found in the safe in the closet. Everyone knows the pass code, ha ha, just not outsiders.  My Last Will and Testament and letters that I have written for each of you can be found there as well.  What ever month you find yourself reading this embrace the holiday surrounding this time.  Decorate your homes with decorations of mine that have some meaning to you.  Think of me and smile, know I am proud of the adults you have grown into.

     If your dad is still living, take care of him.  Take care of him the way he took care of each of us throughout our lives.  Be kind and caring, show him much love.  Talk with him everyday. Remind him how much he means to you, he is a great man. 

     For my services, nothing big. A small gathering of family and close friends.  The service should be at the funeral home and afterwards everyone should get together at a favorite restaurant.  Know how important family has been to me and stay close to one another.  I hope you have all found the joy and happiness in life that I had found when I met your father and started this wonderful family. I find it hard to know what to say at this time to make planning such an event painless.  I only hope this helps.  

     Some suggestions for music would be Alan Jackson's Remember When, One More Day by Diamond Rio, or any song really will be fine.  Remember that this should be a celebration! Do not be sad for me I will live on in the family I have left behind.  If your dad is alive after I'm gone leave my urn with him, I will continue to be his "angel" and watch over him until we meet again.  Once we have both passed you can decide who gets to "care" for us.  You can even share us among each other, we always did love to travel.  

The Obituary Project

Leaving A Lasting Impression

Dawn Marie (Menard) Famularo

December 15, 1970 - May 23, 2060

     O.K. so this week our blog is our obituary.  I couldn't bring myself to get my death date, so I'm writing this as though I lived to enjoy many more years of this wonderful life.  I would have my obituary placed on the funeral home's website, and all who would like to view it could do so.  

     Today, May 23, 2060, we lost our mother, a wife, and a dear friend, Dawn Marie Famularo.  She died peacefully at her home surrounded by loved ones.  She is survived by her husband Mark A. Famularo of 65 years. Her daughter Tanya Famularo, her daughter Meaghan Famularo and her son Adam Famularo. She also had 5 grandchildren, 3 great grandchildren and 1 great great grandchild. One of her greatest joys in life was her family.  Spending time with each one of them brought a unique joy to her.

     She was the director of nursing at the Wrentham Developmental Center from 2026 - 2035. She enjoyed being a nurse and thought of those she cared for as part of her extended family.  Caring for others was always something she felt very strong about.  She became a nurse in 2009 when she graduated from the Bristol Plymouth Practical Nurse program.  She attended Bristol Community College where she completed her registered nursing program 2018, and continued on at UMASS online and obtained her bachelor's degree.  One great lesson Dawn taught others was that education is important and never a waste of time, no matter what your age.  She cherished her work as a nurse and she loved making a difference in those she cared for. What made Dawn smile the most was spending holidays with her family and enjoying the laughter and organized chaos that the gatherings would bring. She enjoyed decorating for the holidays so much, her motto was: you should be able to tell what time of year it is just by looking around at the decorations.  This joy was passed on to her children and grandchildren, they would all get together and make centerpieces for the holiday table, bake cookies and make fudge. There was much joy on her face when she was making gifts to give to others.  She loved watching the children try to take charge of the holiday planning even though she didn't let that last for to long.  Yes, you could say she loved having the last word.  She will be missed everyday that passes and she will be forever in all our hearts.  We'll always remember how she would say, "I Love You More."

     Visiting hours will be on Tuesday May 25, 2060 at 4:00-7:00pm at Conley Funeral Home 138 Belmont St,(Rt. 123) Brockton, MA 02301. A Funeral service will be held in the funeral home @ 10am on Wednesday, May 26, 2015 for family and close friends.  

     In lieu of flowers donations in Dawn's name should be made to the American Red Cross or the Alzheimer's Foundation of America.  Both causes that meant a great deal to her.      

     

Failure, it's on the road to success

Failure, it's on the road to success

       In this week's reading they focus on how to achieve success.  Failure is a big part of that.  We often don't think of someone who succeeds as someone who has failed; however their failure plays a big part of it.  Relating the readings to everyday life and how this actually fits in was an easy one for me.  Isn't it true that when you answer a question wrong on a test it is the one fact that you always remember, even better than the questions you answered right the first time and forgot them the minute the test was over. The line on page 137 says failure is a better teacher, that is so true. 

   There were many lines in the reading this week that I felt made good sense to me, one example is a line on page 135 in Success Built to Last, It's amazing how even the best ideas don't work if we don't actually put them to use.  This is like all the money spent on weight loss, gym memberships, and gadgets designed to encourage a healthier life style.  You pay the money, you wear your Fitbit so why are the pounds not falling off?  Oh you mean I have to let these things work for me.  I not only need to pay for the gym membership I need to in fact walk through the doors of the gym and use the equipment.  I need to increase my number of steps per day, not just wear this around my wrist.

     Perseverance, the key to continued success.  As Jack La Lanne put it, on page 133, taking a small step - however tiny - each day to gather strength.  That is not only true for self improvement but with any task that needs to be done.  Even writing these blog entries.  If it seems like a huge task to read two chapters, take notes, and write a blog of at least 500 words every week then take it in small steps.  One day read one chapter. Another day read another chapter.  Take notes and write things down as you read them, include the phrase and page number which it appeared on. Highlight the lines, you will find them much easier when you want to refer back to them.  Also another well learned lesson I am starting to do is if you read something and you don't understand it, look it up.  It really does make the story make more sense.    

     As written on page 137, Failure is a better teacher, this too is a true story.  How many people like to fail in front of peers.  It only happens once and you never forget the proper sequence, or the way things should be done.  I always tell people I learn very well after I get it wrong just once.  For the most part this is true at work but maybe not so much at home.  I guess home is the safe place where you can do something wrong over and over and you're still loved.

     Page 142 has a line that reads, We idolize winners and demonize losers after a single game.  How true this statement is.  How high we place the quarterback or the kicker when they make the wining play.  But oh boy, forget about it when they threw the interception that cost the game or kicked the attempted field goal to wide missing what would have been the winning point.  People go on and on about what a terrible play that was as if they could have done a better job.  The lessons written about in this book pertain to so much more than just success at work.  They can be tailored to fit our everyday life, from one day to the next.  Believe me they are defiantly nourishing food for thought.

 Porras, Jerry, Stewart Emery, and Mark Thompson. "Chapter 7 The Tripping Point - Always Make New Mistakes." Success Built to Last, Creating A Life That Matters. Upper Saddle River: Pearson Education, 2007. Print. 

Charisma

Week #10 Beating the Odds

     I chose to write about Chapter 6 in Success Built to Last.  This chapter was all about believing in what you do, whether it is a job, a hobby, or even a life changing event.  If you believe in your passion it will make you successful.  It doesn't matter how big or small, if it is important to you it will have longevity.

     This chapter really spoke to me on a personal level.  I had not started out on the best of paths for a "good" life.  I became pregnant at 16 years old, the boy that I fell in love with was not in love with me.  It didn't take him long to realize that this was not what he wanted in life and soon he decided to leave me to raise my daughter all alone.  At this time I was a single parent attending my senior year in high school and living on my own.  I was on welfare, receiving food stamps and help from a program called teens to independent living for young mothers.

     I grew up with my parents and 7 sisters all under one roof until my parents divorced after 17 years of marriage.  I moved in with my dad and one other sister.  I soon found myself without the parental supervision that I once had.  I did some things that I should have waited to do and became pregnant at 16. I didn't know how I was going to tell my parents and waited until I was almost 8 months along to tell them.  My mother was very calm and simply stated, "I want you to know this will change your life forever."  My dad didn't know what to say.  I quickly moved from my dad's to my mom's.  After I gave birth to a healthy baby girl I soon found myself having disagreements with my mom over where I could and couldn't go with the baby.  We had a fight one day and I packed my things and left.  I didn't have a plan, I just left because at that time I thought any place would be better than there.  I moved in with my boyfriend's parents and she quickly took me to apply for section 8 and food stamps.  I had no idea either of those things existed, I guess you could say I had lived a sheltered life.  I had a friend that also had a baby and introduced me to someone that could help.  Her name was Kathy, she ran the program that helped me find a place to call home.

     My parents never encouraged education, never spoke of college to us.  It was Kathy that helped me enroll into a business office technology program.  I learned all I could and got a job at an insurance company. I could have easily fallen into the trap of a lifelong journey on welfare. That was not for me. Well let me tell you, I'll never forget the feeling when I called the welfare office and said thanks, but no thanks.  I no longer needed public assistance. I moved out of the apartment I had with my daughter and moved in with a friend and shared rent.  I met my husband when I was 19 years old. He was my voice of reason.  He always encouraged me to be better for myself and for my daughter.  I worked at the insurance office for a few years until I got laid off. I went from job to job until I found myself in the health field.

     We got married in 1995, and have been married for 20 wonderful years. We have 3 children, 2 girls and a boy.  My husband spoke of education often and swayed me to go back to school and become a nurse.  Since that day when I graduated from nursing school I vowed I would instill the importance of education to all my children. My children not only hear us speak of education and it's importance they see me back in college at 44 years old to continue to learn more about what's important to me. The more education I have the better I believe I can do my job. We try to show our children how much easier life is when you don't rely on others to get by. I feel that I overcame great odds to become the mother I am today.  I absolutely feel pride in who I am and the profession I chose.  I love making a difference in peoples lives.  I hope my children find a passion that they love and believe in and succeed at it.  You don't have to just go through life, if you Live it, it is so much more.

Week #9 Reading Reflections

The Yin & Yang

     This week I chose to do my reflections from The Sacred Art of Dying.  Chapter 6 was about the Chinese attitudes toward death.  The chapter was difficult to understand until our discussion in class. The first paragraph alone was enough to make you want to close the book and forget about it.

     The beginning, the not yet beginning, the being.  What is all that suppose to mean or represent. The statement made was decided to a paradox of sorts.  Is it all about the beginning of all things?  Is it a possible truth that can be translated into all beings.

     Next we moved on to the yin and the yang.  For every good there is a bad, for every light there is darkness, for every positive there is a negative.  The yin is thought of as moon, the negative charge, the earth, the female.  Whereas the yang is thought of as the sun, the positive charge, the heaven, the male.  The yin and the yang are said to have a separate existence but at the same time harmoniously interfuses the other.  I look at the yin and the yang as a "balance."  Some people think of relationships as such, we harmoniously live together peacefully balanced by one another.  He is my yang to my yin. He completes me.  Chinese attitudes about death are that Life is the companion of death, death is the beginning of life.  Respect life, the perfect man of Tao does not waste time being anxious about dying. ( The Sacred Art of Dying p. 85)

     The above statement is a powerful one.  Death is inevitable, when there is a birth the one thing we can be certain about is that one day there too will be a death.  The one thing that this coarse has taught me through the weekly readings, and class room discussions is that death should not be feared. Death is a part of life and vise versa.

     All cultures respect life and death in there own way, there is a belief of death is not the end of the spirit, but the beginning of a journey.  A journey we can only count on our faith to lead us through.  The physical body is no longer, but the spirit lives on. Maybe the spirit lives on through what they left behind, their teachings to those they loved, the beliefs they instilled in those left behind.  I know from personal experience some of the things we do everyday reflect on the love that someone has shown to us throughout our lives.  That being said, once we discussed the beginning of this chapter in class, "There is a beginning.  There is a not yet beginning to be a beginning......" Maybe that when we think of it as stated above, the physical body is the beginning, the spirit is not yet a beginning because it is still in the physical body...maybe, things that make you go oohhmm.

   

 I'm not a deep thinker when it comes to most things.  I'm like everyone else. I enjoy everyday of life, and I know that someday life as I know it will continue without me.  I hope when the time comes I can look back on all I have accomplished and be at peace with all I will leave behind for those that I love.

One more day...........

Week # 9

     Well here it is nine weeks into the semester.  Coping with Life and Death.  When I originally signed up for this class it was an online version.  It was to take place during the winter intercession.  I had just lost my grandfather on Christmas afternoon.  The weekly assignment was to read a chapter in the book, a typical "textbook," a chapter filled with boring facts. Once the chapter was read you were to submit a 3 page reflection on what you had read.  Not my idea of what learning about life and death should be.  Discussion. That's the best was to learn about something.  Discussion with meaning.

     It didn't take me long to realize I made the right decision when I signed up for the Tuesday night class, in Taunton, from 7 o'clock in the evening til 9 o'clock at night.  I tried to take earlier classes so I would not be out to late due to the fact that I have to be at work at 6:45 am.  Needless to say this class has been truly inspirational.  The instructor, Dr. Keith Carreiro, is amazing.  He has a way of teaching that makes you really enjoy being there.  He talks about life as a gift, success can mean making a difference is just one person's life.  Since I started this class I truly try to look at things in a whole new light.  Living without regrets.  If I were to die today, would I have any regrets? So here goes this week's blog, it is the million dollar question, if you only had one more day, how would you spend it.

     This is a tough question and as soon as the topic was discussed I immediately thought of the song by Diamond Rio, One More Day.  If you listen to this song it is exactly what everyone wishes for, just one more day with the ones they love.  What would my last day look like?  I don't know.  Surrounded by loved ones. Enjoying every moment with them.  The intimate relationship shared with a spouse is absolutely unique.  My husband and I have been together longer than we have lived without one another.  We often joke about how much we love being in bed together, and if we could we would spend a whole day in bed just enjoying one another.  It's often referred to as a wasted day by my husband when there is so much we could get done in just one day.  But if it were the last day would it be thought of as a wasted one or a cherished one.

     O.K. so seriously my last day. If I knew it was my last would I live it differently than I live every day I live not knowing it would be my last?  I think yes, I would spend more time with my family telling them the things I want them to know about me.  Perhaps just telling stories of the moments throughout my life that made me who I am.  The story of meeting their dad, the day they were born.  The happiness I wish for them, that they are Tuesdays with Morrie don't be afraid to touch the ones you love. A lesson everyone could benefit from. Also taken from that book telling people how you feel before they are gone is a notion that makes sense.  After a day of enjoying family I would retire to my room and feel a sense of peace knowing that I had made my children feel their importance in my life.  I would lay down beside my best friend and loving husband and drift off in his arms.  To me that would be the perfect end to a wonderful life.

blessed enough to find a partner in life that truly cherishes them as my husband has cherished me.  I would like to think that they would listen to me and not just hear me.  We would take pictures with them, hug them, and kiss them. As Morrie taught Mitch in

     I know that doesn't sound like the most exciting day to the average person, but to me it sounds absolutely euphoric.  I don't need to spend my last day doing heroic things or dare devil stunts.  I just want to let my family know how much they mean to me and how loved they are.  I believe with all my heart that a person can never be told how much they are loved and cherished.  My wish would be that my children lead a life that they are proud of.  That to me would mean they are a bona fide success. When I am gone from this earth I want people to smile when they think of me and know that just by knowing the people I grew to know and care about all made a difference in my life.

   
   

The Cemetery Project....Creepy or Just plain peaceful?

                                                 

        A Cemetery with Meaning to Me

     I chose the Louise Johnson Memorial Cemetery.  This cemetery was dedicated in 1997 to Wrentham Developmental Center.  This is the place that many of the individuals living at the developmental center are placed to rest.  It is located across the street from the close knit family of the facility were I work.  To get to it from Taunton you need to drive, but from the center it is a short peaceful walk.  If you were not told about this cemetery you might not know it exists.  It is nestled behind an athletic complex. I found this to be somewhat ironic, a complex were there is so much life has a place where people are lifeless.  All the plots sit beneath many pine trees, with just one short "driveway" of sorts.  There is a white picket fence to define the area.  The grounds hold approximately 300 or so.  The exact # is unknown to me at this time.  

     This is a private cemetery located in the town of Wrentham.  It is run by the Wrentham Developmental facility.  The grounds keepers keep the grass at bay and the markers in the clear.  I felt it sort of serine to walk around the small but friendly place.  The markers dated back to as early as 1862.  There were people of the catholic faith as well as the protestant religion.  They were once segregated but as I walked around noticed that they must of ran out of room at one point and now there are markers marked with a "P" and "C" right near each other.  I'm sure it wouldn't matter to the individuals that lay there, we are all one big family. It doesn't matter if you are black or white we are all thought of as brother and sisters.  There is a ton of unconditional love, from the people who live there to the people who work there.

     The grounds are kept up for the most part.  I did find myself clearing markers to reveal names and dates of the person who was below.  I didn't get the feeling that it was visited much but there were some flowers and other things laid beside loved ones.  I spoke with one of the men that help maintain the area and he had said he believes that it is full, "maxed out."  There are no building or facilities on these grounds, no mausoleums, no sales office, chapel, or anywhere to escape the elements. Just the covering of the pine trees that made you feel you were some where else.  

     All the markers were the same, none stood apart from the rest.  All uniform from size color and shape.  A small flat rectangle with a number in the left hand corner and a letter in the right hand corner.  The name in all capital letters centered in the middle, and a birthdate to the bottom left and the death date on the bottom right.  Some had specific dates others only stated the year of birth and the year of death.  Some have been there since the early 1900's and others as recent as 2013.  All the sentimental gestures left were of plastic flowers and I did see a set of rosary beads.  I found it strange that I was told the cemetery was holding it's max number because
when I was walking around there looked like a grave had been recently dug awaiting for one more burial.  

     There was one marker where a baby had been buried at 1 year in age, 1957-1958 was all it read.  full name all in capital letters, a junior, a little boy.  I wondered if he was named after his dad then why no birth or death date.  The oldest marker was for Maria Foss born October 23, 1868 and died October 5, 1931.  The most recent marker belonged to Henry Oliver born February 15, 1926 and died May 9, 2013.  I knew Henry and took care of him on the final days of his life.  When I came across his marker I had to smile and think of a wonderful man that laid there for his

final resting place.  

     I chose this particular cemetery because it has special meaning to me.  A lot of the individuals here where once dropped off as infants to a state facility and forgotten about.  They made a home in Wrentham and laid to rest in Wrentham were they were cared for by people that showed them love.  When I look around at the markers that lay almost flat on the ground it is sad that they did not have a little more personality to them.  Something that marks that person for the uniqueness that they had.  When you talk to anyone at the developmental center there is always a special story about one "special" person that made there way into the hearts of so many.

     An anthropologist might look around and see this cemetery as a place where everyone is equal.  No stone bigger or better than the rest.  Just a simple humble marker that marks a life that once was. There is nothing that makes anyone more important than the other.  The stones all look the same, no disfiguring attributes, no disabilities, just a human being with a remarkable life.

     In conclusion to this weeks assignment, there have been so many deaths throughout the years at

the Wrentham Developmental Center, and although not all are buried where we can take a walk to visit them, they are all remembered on a trail outside one of the buildings that is still open.  It is known as the Wrentham State School Memorial Walk, dedicated October 22, 1994.  There are four memorial walls with four sides each with the name of deceased individuals.  Located in the front of the facility many people walk by and spend time looking and remembering.  There is also a water fountain in the middle of the walkway and on a nice spring, summer, and even fall day you can see people all around enjoying their time under the trees outside.